Tattletale Roadhouse and Social Club
Tony R Lindsay
978-1935171638
134 pages
About
“Tony R. Lindsay’s first venture into social commentary and rural humor is a riotous collection of vignettes rooted in the Deep South and skewering preachers, salesmen, marriage, big shots and especially the down-home, hard-drinking, overly affectionate folks who are his heroes.”
Reviews
Lindsay’s endearing characters must be swallowed whole. Buffoonish yet complex, each unleashes micro-bursts of brilliance while stumbling hilariously over themselves. His style is unique and refreshing – Lewis Garnett, Award-winning writer and storyteller
The first time I heard Tony R. Lindsay, I almost broke a rib laughing. Now that he is in print, my rib may never heal. Hidden masterfully among the struggles of his unforgettable characters are breadcrumbs of wisdom – Mary Ann Peden-Coviello, Editor and author
Tony R. Lindsay’s stories emanate from a vivid imagination and reflect his family’s roots in the East Tennessee countryside and honed by his upbringing in the inner city. His characters resonate with an understanding of days gone by and of the human nature that we all still share today – Jack E. Williams, Past President, East Tennessee Historical Society
Excerpt
From Wampus Cat Queen
“The boys were not inclined to think about how their bucolic glen was formed in the midst of rolling hills, but one explanation for the cove was that God pressed an enormous thumb down on the peaks and left a print of gigantic proportions. Each little ridge running through the pastures and fields was a line in a divine thumbprint. A less satisfying explanation was that the almost flat cove with towering summits on all sides was created during the last Ice Age.”
* * *Also from Wampus Cat Queen
“Legend had it that the Wampus Cat was a human-sized cat that walked upright and had the hands and feet of a woman. She had one horrible, yellow eye. And one sagging breast in the middle of her chest. The Queen had stringy, matted hair and warts and cankers everywhere. All this ugly had the slinky walk of a woman in heels. Some folks said the Queen had mating on her mind.”
* * *From Forget My Soul
“Laard, this here fisherman done walked right into the swamp. He ain’t got a lick of sense, and he ain’t a bit nice. Reckon you’ll be dealing with his soul right soon. And now, Laard, I ask You to comfort them that’s done sick and them that’s done afflicted in this here holler. And Laard . . .”
“Forget the damn sickies. Forget the afflicted bastards. Save my ass!”
* * *From Melanie Burber’s Christmas Letter
“The talent agent said that with Eloise’s good looks, he would have her working in no time. Boy, he was right. She landed a job right away with High Rise Productions. Can y’all believe she made seven movies in seven days?”
* * *From Ol’ Possible
Momma urged the feeble senior to be careful and inquired as to how she went about taking a bath.
“I wash up as far as possible and then I wash down as far as possible. Then I wash possible.”
Momma and Mrs. Webb guffawed. I sniggered, too. Mrs. Webb said, “Don’t worry Ethel, that boy is too young to know what we’re laughing about.”
I spouted, “It’s good to know that after all this years, Ol’ Possible still gets a soaping now and again.”
Tony R. Lindsay 